The emotional side to having sex is very important. Before you have sex it's important to ask yourself if you are ready to be dealing with those kinds of feelings. These can range from delight, joy, happiness, and feeling very close and intimate to someone, to anger, jealousy and frustration. In the right circumstances and with the right person, sex can make you feel wonderful, especially if it's with someone that you love.
Having sex for the first time can be called 'losing your virginity'. Technically losing your virginity is when a man's penis enters a woman's vagina, although most people define losing their virginity as when they actually have sex – i.e. when a man puts his penis inside a woman's vagina and moves it in and out repeatedly until he ejaculates.
Having sex for the first time is something you should want to do and feel ready for. Some people may decide they want to wait until their married before they have sex, this is called 'abstinence'. It is your choice whether to have sex or not, and your choice may be affected by religious or moral reasons. People should respect your choices as you should respect other people's.
If you think you have given it a lot of thought and feel ready for sex, make sure you are prepared. Make it an experience that you will keep as a happy memory. It is very important to talk about what you want and what your partner wants from sex or from the relationship and check out that you are both feeling ready for it. This isn't the easiest thing to do, however if you want some advice on how to talk things over, you could go to one of the young people's services to chat over some things either by yourself or with your partner. Above all make sure you have safe sex, always use a condom which will protect you from most infections and perhaps go to a sexual health clinic to discuss other methods of contraception you could use. You will find details of your nearest service in the directory.
Having sex for the first time is not like it is in the movies. It is intimate and can sometimes be messy and embarrassing. Sometimes (for women) it can hurt a little and may cause a little bleeding if the hymen (the thin piece of skin covering the entrance of the vagina) hasn't been broken, but this is perfectly normal.
If you do regret losing your virginity, it is best to speak to someone at a youth clinic who can help you work through your thoughts. You don't have to keep having sex just because you've done it once. Sex is about respect for yourself and your partner.
