Having safer sex doesn't just mean using a condom. There are lots of other things that you can do to get sexual pleasure, both alone or with your partner. You can use your tongue or your mouth or fingers to stimulate yours or your partner's body. And not just sexual parts either. You can get sexual pleasure from being touched or fondled or caressed almost anywhere. Ears, nipples, necks, hips, toes, fingers and backs can be favourite places for some people. If you are entering into a sexual relationship, knowing what turns you on and gives you pleasure, means that you can communicate this to your partner.
Kissing
Kissing is probably the most physically romantic thing two people can do. Remember that everyone kisses differently and prefer different ways of kissing. Some people are turned off at the idea of French kissing (or using your tongue while you kiss), whereas others find it very sensual. It might take a few times kissing your partner before deciding on what you prefer.
Petting
Many people also enjoy stimulating each other's sexual parts with your hand or mouth, this is sometimes called 'petting' or 'touching someone up'. Petting can also be called 'foreplay' meaning it could be something you do before intercourse. Foreplay prepares the body of sex and this is especially beneficial for women. In fact not getting enough foreplay before intercourse is one of the most common reasons for unsatisfactory sex for women.
You can 'pet' a woman by caressing/kissing/licking/sucking her breasts and nipples, stimulating her clitoris, vulva and vagina with your fingers/lips/tongue or by using a vibrator (or other sex aid).
You can 'pet' a man by stroking/rubbing/licking the man's penis. Sucking his penis is often described as a 'blow job' (but please do not blow - this is dangerous!). You can also use a vibrator on him (though in practice vibrators are much more commonly used by women).
Although petting can be used to enhance sexual enjoyment lots of people have petting sessions but don't go on to have full intercourse. Make sure you talk about how far you want to go and check that it's what you both want to do and feel ready for. Other than that, your imagination is the limit!
Are there any risks?
Anything that you and your partner want to do that doesn't involve sexual fluids coming into contact with your partner's sexual parts is considered to be safer sex. There is some risk of catching infections through oral sex, see the infections section for more detail.
