Communication is the key to a good relationship. If you can talk through things with your partner, you are more likely to be happy and satisfied in all areas of your relationship. Talking with your partner about what you like and what you want from your relationship can enhance your relationship as a whole as well as improving your sex life.
In many couples, one or both partners feel that the other doesn't understand how to satisfy them sexually and this can damage the confidence of both partners. Learning to understand your own responses and your partner's takes time to learn and practice. Everyone responds differently to sex and sexual arousal. Some like gentle touches, others prefer heavier, rougher contact. One person will be turned on by something another finds unpleasant or uninteresting. The only way to get to know your partner's tastes, and for them to get to know yours, is by communicating.
The Benefits of Communicating
Talking about what you like and dislike has several benefits. Not only can simply talking about sex add to your excitement, but the more you talk, the more relaxed and confident you'll be with your partner. Most people would like more variety in their love lives, but they're held back from suggesting whatever they'd like to try, whether it's oral sex, bondage or new positions, by embarrassment or fear of rejection.
Next time you have sex, make sure your partner knows when they are doing something you like. If they need a bit of guidance, gently move their hands to show them what turns you on. Remember and listen and notice the movements and sounds your partner makes to, so you can pick up their likes and dislikes.
How to Communicate
If you're going to talk to your partner about what you both would like there are a couple of things to keep in mind.
- Be positive. Don't tell your partner they're terrible in bed
- Be honest. There's no point in faking it or saying you like something you don't
- Be demonstrative, show them what you like
Links
The links below contain more detailed information on relationships.
- Relate: www.relate.org.uk
